Most people think about therapy as healing from the past, and as coaches we think and talk more about setting future-oriented goals and reaching them. But the truth is that healing from the past is a necessary step to forging ahead successfully in the future. The truly sobering part is that we as men can go years--even decades--without acknowledging, or even realizing the psychological and emotional wounds we need to recover from. Nevertheless, if your upbringing, past relationships or other circumstances have resulted in deep insecurities or even rage, then you have the power to turn that around and become the man you want to be. That's the entire point of my co-host Justin Long's latest book. For starters, we talk about how the biggest kiss of death is being too hard on ourselves, and how it paralyzes us from going forward with perceived risk. Next, we cover how the dreaded approval seeking tendencies make things worse, sending us into an even deeper spiral of self-doubt and loss of confidence. And even though none of this is gender specific, how is it that we as men seem to suffer through our psycho-emotional setbacks longer than most women do...and needlessly so? What exactly is Justin's take on 'righteous rage', and how should we as men wrestle with it? When does rage turn negative, and what's the ripple effect on the rest of our mindset? Why is it that victimhood opens wounds rather than contributing to their healing? What is the most deceptively dangerous character flaw we can have that keeps us from evolving and becoming better men in general? If you haven't visited in a while, there are lots of free goodies for you at https://mountaintoppodcast.com
=== HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE ===
We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
My guest Avi Lev is a cognitive behavioral therapist and the founder/director of the Bay Area CBT Center. She has spent lots of time considering how both men AND women fear rejection, and talks about it in completely different terms than your garden variety old school PUA would have. In this episode you'll discover how our behaviors actually influence how women respond to u, sometimes in unexpected or even counterintuitive ways. What is the dirty little trick we play on ourselves that often results in feeling 'rejected' when we really haven't been? It's like we're our own worst enemy...often. But hold on a second, Avi and I differ on how much we believe confidence helps in rejection-phobic situations with women. How can that be? Next, Avi offers her own interpretation of deserving what you want and how it directly affects getting over fear of rejection. Then we drop a bomb on the whole conversation when we pronounce being 'impressive' straight up irrelevant to approach and attraction. As you may know, I've talked about approach being a conversation, not a competition of acceptance vs. rejection. But Avi wonders aloud what's so bad about rejection, anyway? After all, if we're so wadded up in self-absorbed fear, we might completely forget to evaluate whether or not the woman we're talking to is even as attractive as we hoped she'd be. By the way, do women really get off on rejecting men rudely? How and when do women experience fear of rejection? How do dating pitfalls such as zombieing, benching, love bombing, etc. fit into this? Never before has fear of rejection been so clearly explained or given a real-world remedy. Start your journey to getting a great woman in your life NOW by talking to me free for 25-minutes. Sign up at https://mountaintoppodcast.com
=== HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE ===
We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
After over three decades of coaching, my guest has concluded that when we experience PEACE we are more production with regard to that which we deem most important. This led him to develop the controversial 30-Day Opinion Diet. In his words, 'It's a detox for your mind, not your body. Taking a break from constantly judging every situation in your life can do wonders for your mental health.' Now, we already know Twitter and Facebook are designed to draw us into spontaneous and often toxic debate, which keeps us addicted to their platforms. But the social cost of everyone being their own media outlet--and trolling each other--is harsh. So how does ceasing and desisting from scattering our opinions far and wide help us? And how does it actually make us MORE attractive to women? What damage has the 'pack mentality' associated with the echo chamber phenomenon already done to our collective psyche? How are dating apps particularly insidious when it comes to messing with our heads? Listen in as Matthew describes the four separate components of what he calls the 30-Day No Opinion Diet. What was the primal purpose of having opinions, and why does it not serve us so well anymore in this post-modern world? Is opinionated arrogance literally baked-in to our psychology archetypally? If so what do we do about THAT? Discover how people weaponize opinions in sneak attack mode...often without us even knowing what hit us. How can we avoid that from now on? What happens when we not only break ourselves of GIVING opinions, but 'live and let live' with regard to the opinions of others? What are the two exceptional circumstances that might possibly make your opinions matter? Does the Opinion Diet make us less, well, opinionated? Do we gain a more open mind from it? How does that help? Get in on the newsletter and join all the fun at https://mountaintoppodcast.com
=== HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE ===
We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
My guest today is a long-time Wall Street Journal reporter who has followed the political lives of presidents, senators and governors. Her new book is called, Why They Stay: Sex Scandals, Deals and Hidden Agendas Of Eight Political Wives. Now, I already know you're probably not tuning in to hear tabloid gossip. But Anne's work is immensely valuable to us as we look inside the relationships the most powerful men in the world have with the women in their lives. Wait until you discover some of the golden truths you can readily apply to your own life, as well as many of the potential relationship pitfalls you can avoid. Indeed, this episode is loading to the hilt with 20/20 foresight. For starters, what behaviors and habits do so-called 'power couples' uniquely exhibit? What do wives of powerful men seem to have in common? Do women necessarily marry high-achieving men simply to leech off of them? Or is it they're seeking to ride 'coat tails' in search of their own power, money, fame as opposed to love? Do some women honestly enter into a relationship with a certain man with a belief they'll change the world together? Is that a turn on for them? On the other hand, if a relationship feels purely transactional, can it still ultimately work? What happens if and when a powerful man loses status, or even falls from grace completely? Is it pure coincidence that only one president was a bachelor? Discover Anne's five factors that tend to decide whether or not a powerful man's wife will stick around no matter what. Finally, objectively speaking, what should high achieving men think about when considering a life partner? Which good traits should we be looking for? What are the warning signs? What about you? Have you found your own 'first lady' yet? Join me for a free 25-minute discussion on your future and the woman in it. Sign up at https://mountaintoppodcast.com
=== HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE ===
We'll keep the solid, actionable content coming...all for free. If you love what you hear, please give us a 'thumbs up' by rating the show (takes one second) and leaving us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!